What is Self-Care?
Self-care has been a buzzword for a while now. It’s taken on a life of its own in the media and among influencers, but let’s be real—it’s time to get down to the basics and redefine what self-care really is. The media often portray it as fluffy and irrelevant, leading us to think that taking care of ourselves is somehow selfish. Seriously, why is that? Everyone agrees that we should shower regularly, so why does any other activity that nourishes our well-being suddenly get the “selfish” label?
So, What is Self-Care, Really?
To me, self-care is anything I do that nourishes my soul and makes me feel good. It encompasses the basics—hygiene, nutrition, exercise—because I know if I don’t do those things, I feel pretty terrible. Maintaining these essentials is just as much a part of self-care as the more glamorous activities we often see on social media. Each person will have their own unique definition of self-care, and that’s kind of the point.
Unfortunately, the media has cherry-picked what they believe are acceptable forms of self-care. Sure, hygiene and exercise are fine—but only if you do them after everyone else is taken care of. For instance, society says it’s acceptable to wake up at the crack of dawn to squeeze in a workout, but only if it doesn’t interfere with anyone else’s schedule. But if you want to go out for lunch with a friend or binge-watch your favorite show while doing a puzzle, suddenly it’s like, Whoa, who do you think you are?
This is where we need to hit the brakes. We have to stop equating self-care with selfishness, especially when it means saying no or rearranging our schedules. It’s time to redefine what self-care means to us individually. You have to say screw you to society’s rigid standards and come up with a plan that works for you.
Let’s Reframe
Other terms you could use instead of self-care: self-preservation, nourishment, recharging, or simply resting. All of these terms carry the same importance while creating a different vibe and connection. Self-care is all about personalization, so take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and add your own spin. How can you redefine self-care so it doesn’t have a negative connotation when it’s time to practice it?
Here are some ways to reframe self-care:
- It is anything makes me feel good.
- Taking care of myself lets me show up better for others.
- It can be tiny, effortless moments that fit into my day.
- It is how I stay functional, happy, and human.
My definition, while broad, includes a few of these reframes. It embraces what makes me feel good and recognizes that it helps me show up better for others and myself. It doesn’t have to be an hour-long bubble bath; sometimes, it’s just me curling up with a good book with a lit candle before bed. Most importantly, self-care is how I stay functional and happy. The less I engage in these activities, the quicker I slip into a dark place and retreat from the world. I don’t really think of it as “self-care”; to me, it’s just maintenance—keeping myself alive and happy. So, what are the things that keep you alive and happy? Start a list.
Some Examples From My Life:
- Showering: A reset that keeps me feeling clean & revitalized
- Baths: Sometimes, it’s nice to soak and unwind.
- Reading before bed: Swapping screen time for a good book helps me wind down.
- Creating a morning routine: I brush my teeth, wash my face, then grab my coffee to read before working on my business. It’s simple, but it fills my cup, allowing me to tackle my responsibilities feeling fresh and ready to give my best self to others.
- Snuggling with my cat: Giving her my undivided attention is a simple joy.
- Puzzles: Sometimes I’ll even put on a TV show in the background while I work on one.
- Coloring: It’s a fun way to relax and get a little creative.
- Hiking: Getting outside and enjoying nature lifts my spirits.
- Being near water: Whether it’s a beach day or just a stroll by a lake, there’s something calming about being near water.
- Saying no: This could mean saying no to that extra brownie I crave, knowing my stomach will protest later, or declining invites to hang out with that group of friends who always end up dragging me into a negative space. Who you spend time with is self-care too!
- Dancing: Shaking it out to my favorite tunes is an instant mood booster.
- Literally stopping to smell the flowers: I know, I know, but taking a moment to be present and actually appreciate the little things right in front of me actually makes a difference.
- Going to a café: Treating myself to a croissant while savoring my favorite coffee is a simple pleasure I love.
At its core, self-care is about designing your life. You are the only person you’ll spend every day with for your entire life, so you better start finding ways to support and enjoy it. Self-care is personal, and it isn’t anyone else’s business what it means to you! You don’t have to announce that you’re having a self-care night (unless you think they’ll be receptive to it). If you feel like it’ll lead to a debate, just tell them you’re taking a bath before you absolutely lose it on someone—trust me, everyone will thank you for it!
So, take some time to redefine what self-care means to you. Create a list of things that bring you joy, make you feel happier, or help you feel more relaxed and rejuvenated after doing them. And start doing them more often! Make a list on your phone, so when you start to feel a little low, you can quickly choose something and do it.
What’s one tiny, feel-good thing you can do for yourself today? Give yourself permission to do it! You deserve it!
If you want to know how to create a full self care routine, check out my other blog post:
